A WAY - a retrospective

In 2023, we walked from Sign+ project space in Groningen to the Supermarket Art Fair in Stockholm with a treadmill on a small wagon. Exactly one year later, on Feb. 16, we walked from Amersfoort station for an 18-km round trip towards the dunes, to recreate a day in our journey. Our monotonous, stream-of-consciousness dialogue from this walk was transcribed from an audio file.

Good, right?
Count to ten and walk away.
One two.
One two three four.
Keep talking.
Keep talking. I need to test if it will work.
And then the train comes.
Let's just put it in there.
For good?
Yes.

We started the project last year knowing very little about each other, and somehow it ended the same way. We had no choice but to tell and listen to our life stories halfway through because there was nothing else to do. Every day we walked for 6-7 hours and let all the stories flow.

I am always the leader, every day.
And without me, this project would be completely fucked up.
And I'm tired of it.
I will no longer be the leader.
Perhaps.
I am tired of it.
What?
You are emotional.
It's just emotional

You told me about all your friends and their circumstances, why their parents divorced and whose sister they were in love with, and I listened and nodded and asked questions and then promptly forgot. I'm sorry, but I can't even remember a single name.

I'm in charge.
Yes.
I'm in charge.
Oh yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Do you get angry often?
Yes.

You told me a lot about your friends and family. I remember everything. Not that it's a competition. But that's just how my memory works.

That's really true.
Why?
Because I've been angry with you before.
I don't know.
But it's so easy.
In no time you fall back into old habits.

Who else do you get mad at?
Yes, actually not many people.
So I want to say it's a privilege, but it's not.
I don't know, that's not it.
Did I just get angry?
No no.

No one ever told me to my face that they hated me, and I think about it semi-regularly. It made me very happy when you said that to me, because I thought it meant that I finally got through to you, that I had succeeded in irritating you so greatly. I was happy that I could impact my environment again and it made me feel in control.

Are your parents proud of you?
Finally,
I don't know.

It felt good to find out what you were insecure about, because it made me feel better about myself, like I was winning, because there was no one else around to win from, so it had to be you. It doesn't feel like winning unless someone else is losing.

Why did they put a fence here?
To protect it from whom?
Of the people?
The people.
God, you can come here.
Look at this.
How boring.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful, but it's pretty boring.
You are a city person.
No, a people person.

When we arrived at Supermarket Art Fair in Stockholm and were invited to give a little presentation to the press, you spoke in Swedish and told the audience that I had outdone you in every way and that "the future is female. We had just achieved a very big achievement and then you felt you had to piss all over it, make it cheap and at the same time make fun of me. We were friends again at that point and you embarrassed me. It's like you want people to see that you don't take it seriously, so that if something you do is not well received, you can just wave it away and it won't hurt your ego.

Do you crave attention less?
So you have no power.
Nice to get attention for something you ... something you did on purpose.
Can you give an example?
For example, if you make something fun and you get attention for it, it's fun.
It gives value to attention.
And now it is empty.
Like I'm so beautiful.

When you spoke to the RTV North radio station, they couldn't hear you very well and asked if it was like a romantic vacation. Then they shut you down, it made me so angry, but I couldn't blame you either, even though I really wanted to.

You turned 29 in September, right?
Yes.
I've told you this before, right on the day he turned 30....
Was he getting old.
Yes.
It was like overnight, it was crazy.
You are still...
23.
Yes.
March 24.
Yes.
I have only just begun.
Yes.
This is really my era of not thinking anymore.
I'm just looking for a certain kind of peace.
Yes.
Like walking...

When you had to pee, I kept walking. Because I wanted to walk away from you. You got angry and told me to wait. I kept doing it because I felt you already had so much influence on my decision making.

It's like meditation.
It was torture.
I liked it very much.
Yes, I mean, I did.
Like afterwards, I feel like I always felt like adventure is dead. Well, everything is done.
No, but there can be more absurdity and it can be more like...
I always find a way out in absurdity.

There was one night when you wanted to spend the night with someone from Tinder. I thought he looked violent. That was one of the few times I felt protective. Which was completely unnecessary.

But for me what makes it exhausting.
That you should always ask someone.
Can I sleep here?
You always sleep in a different place.
Okay, but we could have used the damn tent.
No.
If you really didn't like it that much, like we needed that damn hot shower every time.
Yes, yes, yes.
Because I know adjusting takes a lot of energy.
That thing.
We are no longer nomadic.
And at the end of that damn long day, the challenge begins.
Jaaa Jaaa.
Normally you already go through, mentally, all these scenarios of the people you spend the night with.
What you can say to them.
How you could explain yourself again in the project.

It felt like a competition. Who will break first. Either mentally or physically.

For some people, this life is not about fun.
Yes.
It's more of a.
It's about being a professional.
Professionalization.
Being professional.

Every day I walk around and I hope I see it....
A burning building.

For me, the communication felt unfair. Because you could express yourself in your native language. I couldn't. So the way I expressed myself always felt deficient. Even now as I type this, it doesn't feel like my own voice. But more like someone from a Netflix series or something.

We talked about many things.
I could walk today.
Basically not stopping.
Also mentally.

Yes.
Unstoppable.
I think the only time I really hurt you was when I told you your breath stinks.
Yes.

I don't know.
I don't feel we have much in common.

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