Dear Readers,
I am trying to remember what my life was like exactly one year ago.
I take out my calendar from last year to see what I was working on, but I can't find it there. On the shelf below it is a pile of disorganized papers. When I was graduating a year ago, I worked with my Coach to create a second schedule for my studio. The planning ran from March to mid-July; a week after the final exhibition. That clear arrangement from a year ago is now reduced to a pile of chaos in the back of a closet.
To keep track of everything, I have colored sticky notes used. Everything fell into four categories; making, arranging, writing and handy-but-not-necessary. If I finished all that, I would pass. And lo and behold, I succeeded! I got it done and I graduated. Then I went on vacation for a month. It was wonderful!
And lo and behold, it worked! I got it done and I graduated
After the vacations, I started decorating the house (I had just moved in), became self-employed, tried to get a job in set design, did some art stuff, had an expo here and there, got busy with neurodiversity, networking, and most of all, I did a lot of arranging. But it all didn't happen at the same pace as with graduation, and chaos slowly crept back into my life. It became a constant battle to keep everything organized and clear.
Now, a year later, I am sitting here in my little workroom at home. I've had a cleaning job in people's homes for two weeks, a place in a shared studio in Kanaleneiland for one week and a residency at Mediamatic in two weeks. I feel like it's all really starting now!
And yet I feel like I'm falling behind. That I haven't done enough. Somewhere there is a little voice in my head that says, "I should have worked harder and organized more, should have gone to more openings and connected better with classmates and other people over the past six months."
To my mind, it's finally all really beginning!
My goal was to graduate, but (!) without getting burnout. So instead of just getting to work chaotically as I normally do and then getting desperately stressed at the end, I planned ahead, divided tasks and asked for help.
And it worked! I didn't burn out during or after graduation. But sometimes I get shocked when I hear the stories of my classmates. Almost all of the classmates I've talked to since graduation say they've had burnout in the past year or have one now. And maybe that's not surprising when you're told so often in school "in the first two years you just say 'Yes!' to everything."
Sometimes I am shocked when I hear the stories of my classmates
I'm glad I took it easy and gave myself time to get started because it's definitely not easy. But I find it hard to hear that "the art world is just like that," and that you can't become a real artist if you don't give two hundred percent (one hundred percent beyond your capacity, that is).
I hope it is not true, because I do not intend to destroy myself to become a real artist. I like to become a real artist on my own terms.
Love,
Renske Tiemersma
P.S. I am very curious about your experience with this. Have you ever experienced burnout yourself and if so, how did you deal with it?
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